There was a time when I thought buying designer things would make me happy. Today my designer purchases are just a sunk cost… but the lesson learned was real.
Looking for happiness in the wrong places
A few years ago, I worked long hours at a stressful job and made a six-figure salary. I owned my home, had a loving spouse, and had recently become a mother.
But I wasn’t happy.
The shoes pictured here were one of the many fancy things that I purchased during that time of my life.
Things that I thought I deserved for all my hard work.
Things that I thought would fill the void.
Don’t get me wrong, designer things are beautiful and fancy. Most were high quality, too.
But they ultimately didn’t make me any happier.
Designer shoes and regrets
When I look back at that time, I feel ashamed of how much money I spent on such materialistic things.
Not because there’s anything wrong with buying and loving designer bags, shoes and other fancy things. There’s not.
Additionally, my shopping habit didn’t derail our financial future. We weren’t going into debt for my purchases and the amount spent wasn’t a large percentage of our income (we were doing quite well at the time).
I’m ashamed because I bought most of these things for the wrong reasons.
I bought designer things because they are status symbols, designed to make us feel better about ourselves. Wearing them made me appear (and feel) more successful in the high-power corporate environment I worked.
I bought these things to feel better about the fact that I worked so many hours and had sacrificed so much of my time and energy for a job I didn’t love… time that could have been spent nurturing my health or with family and friends. Time that I can never get back.
I thought fancy shoes and bags would make me feel better about the 30+ pounds of extra weight I had been carrying around. That I was unable to lose, despite all my efforts.
But it didn’t work.
Finding financial independence and happiness
Since declaring our journey to financial independence and quitting my corporate job, I’ve been working to find new ways to feed my soul. I’ve already learned so much about myself on this journey, but am still a work in progress.
However, it’s clear to me now that the happiness I was seeking cannot be found in a designer bag or pair of killer stilettos.
In fact, giving in to that vicious cycle of consumerism and trying to keep up with the Joneses usually only leads to more negative feelings.
Happiness must come from within.
Looking back on my extravagant spending from that time (and the feelings of shame it evoked) is the primary reason I started my “no spend clothing challenge,” which is still going strong in year 2.
I actually don’t miss shopping for new clothes at all… even now that I’m finally back at my goal weight.
It’s all a sunk cost (designer bags are not investments)
Although I now realize my mistake, I can’t recoup these costs. The money I spent on these designer things is a sunk cost. But I also can’t rationalize keeping them purely for that reason.
So, over the past couple years, I’ve been slowly selling off my designer collection. I’ll keep a couple pieces that bring me joy, but will declutter and sell the rest.
I recently sold a pair of Ferragamo pumps and it brought back all these feelings. Every sale does.
By the way, I sold these beauties at a loss… as always. Don’t let anyone lead you to believe that designer things are “investments.” Although I’ve found many designer purchases to be of higher quality, you’re mostly paying the steep price for the brand name.
A cheaper life lesson
If you’re feeling unhappy, look within yourself before spending money to try and “fix” the problem.
Rarely will buying new things bring you true happiness. I learned this the expensive way.
What’s the most expensive life lesson you’ve ever learned?
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Gov Worker
Ooooh. This was a fun read. I haven’t bought any super expensive luxury items. But I did think it was dumb that all of my nephews had Beats headphones and all I had were some shitty earbuds so I bought a pair of Beats.
They were okay… and I definitely enjoyed them for a while. But they eventually broke. And I bought a $35 pair of wireless over the ear headphones I like a whole lot more. I still haven’t thrown out the Beats because they kind of work. And they give me regret every time I look at them.
Thinking about the life energy you trade for objects like these definitely makes the purchases feel differently.
Mrs. RichFrugalLife
Thanks for commenting and sharing this post, Sam!
Many of my purchases were “on sale,” but they were still way more than I’d ever be willing to spend on such items before (or would, now that I’ve learned my lesson). Whether it’s the latest tech or a fancy bag, I agree with you – thinking about the trade-off of life-energy and real reasons for the purchase are important things to consider. Things that I hadn’t really thought much about once I was making a good salary, before reading “Your Money or Your Life.”