Financial Independence is Not a Destination, But We’ve Made It!

· Plus, the surprising word that describes how this achievement felt ·

Date
Jan, 26, 2022
We did it! We reached financial independence! And it was (surprisingly) anticlimactic

We just achieved financial independence, and it felt a bit… anticlimactic?

Yes, you read that correctly. It’s not the feeling I had expected either.

After months of build up and excitement, we blew past our financial independence target of $1,000,000 the first week of January.

The timeline of this achievement was expected. Mr. RFL (finally) vested in his first tranche of restricted and performance shares, after over 3 years with his current employer. Thanks to a pandemic-driven recession in 2020 and company’s strong performance since, his actual payout was much higher than we expected when he accepted the offer. And, it was enough to push us past our FIRE number!

However, after so much excitement towards the end of our journey, crossing the finish line felt surprisingly anticlimactic.

Don’t get me wrong… I am thrilled to have reached this lofty goal and feel blessed to be in this position. Yet at the same time, I was expecting to feel an overwhelming sense of excitement and happiness at the finish line, that never came.

Instead of shouting it from the rooftops and celebrating with a fancy bottle of wine, I casually shared the news with Mr. RFL in passing, who had the same muted reaction. It took us 3 more weeks to finally open that nice bottle of wine and properly celebrate. And even then, the celebration was very low key and frugal compared to my 40th birthday dinner.

Celebrating our FIRE achievement with a fine wine and boards games
Celebrating with fine wine & board games

All of this left me wondering….

Why didn’t reaching Financial Independence feel like winning the Super Bowl?

This was perhaps our largest and most ambitious financial goal ever. Why didn’t reaching it fill us with the expected jubilation?

After reflecting on this question, I came up with four reasons why this win didn’t provoke the expected feelings.

1. Did a bear [market] just eat my financial independence?

Although we reached financial independence at the beginning of January, the stock market decided to “correct” itself almost immediately afterwards. With several days of decreases, the S&P fell over 10%, sending the market into bear territory and rendering us no longer financially independent.

Seriously!?

I would have been more upset about this, but I knew that the vesting of Mr. RFL’s stock options shortly after would bring us back within the confines of our FIRE number.

However, this volatility and uncertainty as to whether we were actually financially independent that day (or would be the next), caused me to delay our announcement.

This likely played a role in my muted reaction, though I think it’s the least of these four reasons.

2. Our lives are no different today, than they were yesterday. 

I retired almost two years ago… well before we reached financial independence.

Although much of that time was spent taking care of our daughter during the pandemic, I still use the term “retired”, because I left the workforce with no intent of ever returning.

Leaving my accounting career allowed me to help our family achieve the balance that we so desperately needed.

Mr. RFL and I had been struggling with the desire to do it all, but the lack of time needed to do so. It seemed impossible to find enough time to be all-star employees, great parents, nurture our marriage, take care of our health, and manage the household. Trying to do so was both difficult and stressful.

We’d talked about switching to a single income family since becoming parents, but never made the change. I wasn’t comfortable taking several steps down the corporate ladder to stay at home, if it meant having to go back to work and climb it all over again in a few years.

Retirement is a much sexier word. Maybe not traditionally, but it certainly is when you’re in your 30’s.

Having enough “FU” money to walk away from the corporate world for good was life-changing!

Although it hasn’t been perfect, being able to slow down our pace and have more time freedom has helped us to become stronger as a couple and family. It’s also improved our physical and mental health.

Mr. RFL plans to continue working for a few more years before beginning his early retirement, as shared in our 5-year transition plan. He’s up for a promotion and near the pinnacle of his career. Although now officially “work optional,” he ultimately had just as many options before we reached this milestone.

So nothing is changing in our lives… yet.

3. FIRE is a journey, not a destination

I say this a lot, and feel even stronger in my conviction now: FIRE is not a destination; it’s a journey.

The “RE” part is more like a destination, but even that looks different from individual to individual and can be done in stages. Much like life, financial independence is best enjoyed when you focus on the journey.

Every single step you take brings you closer to your goals and a new level of freedom. The real power to change your life comes from the freedom you gain along the journey, not reaching the end goal itself.

Sure, the end goal may be the point you can just sit and stare at the sunset for the rest of your life. However, you’ll have earned enough financial freedom to build your dream life way before you get there. This could mean the freedom to switch jobs, go part-time, start a business, semi-retire, or to spend more money buying back your time or creating new experiences.

Financial Independence is just one more milestone in the journey, and not even the most important one.

That’s right, I said it. Want to know when I felt the biggest bump in freedom along this journey? It was when we realized that we had surpassed “Coast FI.”

Coast FI is the point at which your investments are expected to grow to your target retirement balance by normal retirement age, without adding another $1. Said another way, you only need to earn enough to cover your expenses and can technically stop saving for retirement.

For two experienced accountants, being able to cover $40,000 – $55,000 in expenses each year would be relatively easy. From that point we knew that we could either work a few more years to take advantage of the high income levels we’d finally achieved, or switch to part-time work or a different career.

My point in sharing this is to remind you that freedom comes in different forms all along the journey. Which is exciting, right?!

4. Addressing the elephant in the room

Sometimes, I get that nagging feeling: What if we haven’t saved enough?

Mr. RFL and I are only 35 and 40 years old, respectively. We also have a young child. That is (hopefully) a very long runway for retirement. It’s virtually impossible to plan for every “what if” scenario.

Although we’ve done our homework, recent challenges to the 4% rule, lower bond yields, rising healthcare costs, and my own risk aversion have led me to think more about the uncertainty around determining your FIRE number.

Perhaps this uncertainty is a subconscious reason why achieving this milestone didn’t feel as big as I’d expected.

Luckily, we aren’t planning to draw down our portfolio just yet, so I don’t need to worry about it too much.

Even if Mr. RFL only ends up working for one more year, we’ll have a nice cushion and more options to adjust our plan, if needed. Whether that’s using a lower starting withdrawal rate, or increasing the retirement budget, we still have the time and bandwidth to do so.

Moral of the story

If you’ve been following our journey, this probably isn’t the celebratory post that you expected. Frankly, it’s not the post I expected to write either.

But in keeping with my commitment to be fully transparent with you, I wanted to share our authentic experience.

The good news? Financial independence is still exciting. It’s just that we just already did most of the celebrating during our journey!

In my opinion, only a small fraction of the freedom this lifestyle provides actually comes from surpassing that end goal.

So if you’re on your own journey to financial independence, those reasons to celebrate may not be as far off as you think. Allow yourself to celebrate every milestone! And when the going gets rough, don’t forget to reflect on how far you’ve come and the freedom you’ve already attainted.

For now, I can check this achievement off of my 2022 Goals List and continue to focus on our journey.

What are you most excited about on your financial journey?


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Mrs. RichFrugalLife

22 Comments

  1. Chrissy @ Eat Sleep Breathe FI

    January 26, 2022

    Wow, this is such exciting news! I think I may be more excited than you, LOL! I want to say I can relate to the anticlimactic feeling, but that’s not what my husband and I experienced.

    It’s interesting how there can be such a range of reactions to this incredible milestone. Regardless of how you feel, though, your accomplishment deserves celebration and a round of applause! 👏

    Should your husband choose to continue working for another year, that will just give you that much extra safety. We’re sure glad my husband worked another six months after we hit our number. We didn’t need the money, but the psychological comfort from it is priceless.

    I look forward to following along and seeing how your mindsets might shift, now that your husband doesn’t “have” to work anymore! Congratulations again!

    • Mrs. RichFrugalLife

      January 27, 2022

      Thank you so much, Chrissy! I was surprised to feel this way. That said, I was super excited in November and December, when we knew that hitting this milestone was imminent. Perhaps I just did my celebrating a bit early and used up all my energy before we actually crossed the finish line?

      Either way, we feel very fortunate (and have worked very hard) to be in this position. It’s wonderful to have so many options and be able to devote more time and energy our family and passions.

      The psychological piece is big… I think that as we continue to build our safety cushion, my comfort level and willingness to actually spend our money will increase.

      I’m excited for this next chapter in our lives, and enjoying following how your early retirement unfolds! 🙂

  2. Dragon Guy

    January 28, 2022

    Congrats on hitting your FI number! I think it was anti-climactic because you knew you were close months ago, and also because the real big deal is when Mr. RFL retires. Every extra year of work will help pad the FI number, which will make full retirement seem more likely to work.

    We never had a celebration of hitting FI either. In fact, we didn’t even know about FI or FIRE until 2017. When we ran the numbers, we realized we were already FI and had a decent cushion. (I like to call that “unknown FI.”) Dragon Gal was ready to quit and did so at the end of her school year. I was in the middle of a project so I wanted to wait that out. It was nice having that extra cusion of 2.5 more years of work – thanks to the stock market our net worth went up 40% in that time.

    • Mrs. RichFrugalLife

      February 1, 2022

      Thank you! I think you’re absolutely right about why it felt that way. No matter where our number is by that point it will certainly be a big celebration when Mr. RFL leaves corporate work!

      A bit of extra cushion is always nice to have. I’m glad the first couple years of early retirement have worked out so well for you both!

  3. Mr Fate

    January 29, 2022

    Awesome news and congrats. Very happy for your and the family. I’ll echo your sentiment on leading you are FI is anticlimactic. I realized this while I was flying off to some ridiculous meeting. I may have smiled inwardly, but there was no real celebration (not even vino and Catan). What did occur slowly and over time is that my behavior and outlook changed. I knew I was now calling the the shots on my own time and funding and no longer beholden to anyone. I believe savvy employers can actually sense this, but can’t quite put their finger on it.

    As you allude, the big “Holy Sh&t moment” for me was my 1st day retired. That’s when it all sank in and I definitely celebrated then! That moment lasted a good few months. To be honest, I still have a giddy feeling every day of knowing I never, ever have to go to a job again.

    • Mrs. RichFrugalLife

      January 31, 2022

      Thank you, Mr. Fate! Glad to know I’m not alone in this feeling, LOL. We’ve had those same senses of gaining control over our lives over the past year or so that has certainly been exciting. After my own retirement, I think the biggest celebration will be when Mr. RFL finally stops working and we actually feel like a retired couple rather than a stay-at-home parent with a working spouse. But at the end of the day, who cares what other people see when they look at us?! We know that we’re free, and that is everything. Best of luck on your tour!

  4. Daryl Marcelo

    January 31, 2022

    Congratulations on reaching FI! “Automatic” was really an unexpected reaction!

    What I took from this celebratory post is that you had made the journey exciting, thus finally having it is just, well Automatic. This is a glaring reminder for us to relax a bit in our optimization, excel spreadsheets and cost cutting. We must inject excitement into the journey so someday we’ll just cross that FI number and nothing in our lives would drastically change.

    Hoping that our month-long travels sandwiched between months of hard work will sprinkle the excitement we need to make the journey fun!

    • Mrs. RichFrugalLife

      January 31, 2022

      Hi, and thank you for commenting. You hit the nail on the head, Daryl!

      Although these were our authentic feelings after reaching FI, the main reason I wanted to share those feelings and wrote the post this way is to show (or remind) others that the best parts of this journey are along the journey itself. You don’t need to sacrifice everything to get to the finish-line faster. I firmly believe that it’s better to slow down the journey a little to make sure you are living your life and taking advantage of some of those freedoms earned along the way (which is why I quit my job before we reached FI). Sounds like you are doing just that with your travel breaks, so congrats!

  5. freddy smidlap

    January 31, 2022

    well, you hit the milestone and that’s worth some kind of celebration. we celebrate every 100k on the way up with a good bottle of wine, although we don’t have any official number. i just spent an hour reading the wine list at that fancy place you went for your birthday. it’s a strong list especially at the price points we buy between 60 and 100 bucks.

    anyhow, i can agree that hitting a coast point was very exciting and coast we did. we stopped investing (expect for my 401k) a few years ago and just enjoyed our 1.5 paychecks when mrs. me was part time. now she is done completely so we have done it all in stages which has been great. not having some mythical number has been great especially after our stocks got cut down by about 1/3 recently. it’s good to have a cushion for these downturns. i’m glad you’re building in that part.

    • Mrs. RichFrugalLife

      February 2, 2022

      Thank you for stopping by and commenting, Freddy! Celebrating every $100k milestone sounds like an excellent idea, as does loosening the reigns a little at that point. We’re trying to do that now and enjoy more of our savings, but it’s still sometimes difficult for someone who tends to lean a bit too far on the frugal side (like me).

      Wine is one of our value-spending areas also… I was impressed with how highly it ranked in your recent annual post. Not sure I get comfortable with giving it the number 1 spot, but I can certainly respect someone who knows what they value and spends on the things that make them happy (after becoming financial secure, as you are).

  6. Sholanda

    February 2, 2022

    Great job retiring to be a stay at home mom! That’s what I’ve done too. Good luck! Women empowerment!

    • Mrs. RichFrugalLife

      February 3, 2022

      Thank you, and congrats to you as well! I’m all for women empowerment 🙂

  7. Kelly

    February 3, 2022

    Congratulations on reaching FI! I can relate to reaching a big milestone and not having the level of excitement meet the goal. My husband and I laid off our house almost two years ago. It was our last debt. Once we focused on starting to pay it down, it was a three year process to pay off. I enjoyed setting monthly goals, watching the balance decline and delighted in thoughts of being completely debt free. Then we started the payoff process in March 2020. Restaurants were closed, and all I had wanted to do was go out for dinner to celebrate. (We ended up buying bottles of whiskey and scotch, then had a couple of drinks while we walked around OUR property… still pretty cool!)

    Overall, making the final payment felt like another day. It was fun, but I had more excitement reaching other goals along the way. It really felt like a non-event. However, later on little moments would pop up that would seem like bigger celebrations… helping a niece repair her car when it unexpectedly broke down… having more date nights…. Buying anything I wanted in the grocery store because I wasn’t worried about meeting a number to pay down the mortgage… knowing we could be a one income household and be ok… watching our taxable investments increase.

    It’s all worth it. But like you said… you have to enjoy the process! (Besides, who doesn’t like nerding out over spreadsheets to track your debt elimination progress??? That was honestly a great time!)

    • Mrs. RichFrugalLife

      February 3, 2022

      Wow, another great example to remind people to celebrate along the journey and that most of the feelings of accomplishment come from pursuing the goal itself. Thank you so much for sharing your experience in reaching a similarly big milestone! This was exactly my sentiment as well, and I do also love nerding out over spreadsheets 🙂

  8. FreshLifeAdvice

    February 3, 2022

    Congratulations on being a millionaire, Kristen!!! I’ve heard from many people that when they hit this milestone, it’s always anticlimactic. Just a byproduct of being a human being – our brains are hardwired from evolution to never being satisfied and content. This drives progress and keeps us alive. Anyway, go continue to celebrate and enjoy that glass of wine!!!

    • Mrs. RichFrugalLife

      February 3, 2022

      Thanks, Tyler! We actually passed the millionaire milestone a few years ago (thanks to homeownership), but even that was a similarly anticlimactic achievement. Good point on the human brain… it is always planning for the next big thing. All the more reason to celebrate the small wins all along the journey!

  9. Maggie

    February 7, 2022

    Hi, I loved this post. It takes the words out of my month. I am trying to be a famous blogger, but I have written about FIRE in my blog (www.twofreesparrows.com) as a way to document to myself our journey around FIRE. I thought the blog would be all about the numbers, but now being retired I feel it is more about defining oneself after so many years having a job define you. I completely understand how you felt about the time you reached your FIRE number. The same thing happened to my partner and I. I have reached a goal that I have spent years on and the moment slides by. Instead of thrill I am thinking about how I now define myself, how do I get validation from my time spent. What does retirement mean to me? Am I doing the right thing.

    • Mrs. RichFrugalLife

      February 8, 2022

      Thank you so much for the comment, Maggie! I’m glad to hear that my story resonated with you and your experiences. There are probably a lot of folks out there like us, so always nice to know that you’re not alone.

      Like you, I’ve found the psychological factors of early retirement, such as finding my purpose and deriving self-worth outside of the office, to be much more challenging than the financial aspects. It’s an interesting journey for sure, and one I’m definitely also still trying to figure out. I’ll check out your blog 🙂

  10. Myth

    February 14, 2022

    I’m in a similar place. I didn’t even realize it until a couple weeks after it happened, but at the end of December my net worth was 25x my annual spending for the first time! I’m aiming for a higher number – 28x my goal spending, which is a little higher than my current spending. And then of course my net worth went down again in January because of the stock market going down.

    It was very anticlimactic. But it is starting to shift my perspective a bit. I’m starting to feel like a financially independent person who is temporarily still working to fatten up my nest egg. My job is a temporary inconvenience to help me reach my goals and feels a little less like an unending slog.

    • Mrs. RichFrugalLife

      February 15, 2022

      Thank you for commenting, and congratulations! The shift in perspective and not having to worry or stress as much about work or sacrifice for it in the same way you might if you have 20-40 more years to go is priceless.

  11. Mr. Dreamer

    February 18, 2022

    Oh wow! Another success story. Congratulations. Very well done ✅

    Interesting you say you retired 2 years ago. My wife declared her retirement 10 years ago as soon as we had our first baby girl.

    Hopefully I can join her soon 🙂

    • Mrs. RichFrugalLife

      February 18, 2022

      Thank you. My husband and I recently had a debate on what qualifies someone as retired or not, specifically when it came to women who stay at home after having kids. There’s always such a passionate debate about this topic in the FI community. Raising kids is no joke, but if she decided she was never going back to work at that point, than I totally agree with her calling it retirement (especially once the kids go to school).

      Keep up the great work and no doubt that you’ll get there soon!

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